viernes, 28 de noviembre de 2008

Tan solo es una victoria mas‏

De: 70 Kilos 257 gramos.
Enviado: jueves, 27 de noviembre de 2008 22:37:24


Ayer coroné, ayer se impusieron las fuerzas del bien, ayer aprendí que la espera puede(ha de) ser productiva. Ayer dejé de improvisar y vencí con solvencia.
Que no sea Kang, por favor.
El miércoles veintiséis de noviembre será recordado en mi fuero interno como el día en que me reforcé en derechos y adquirí obligaciones.
Para dicha mañana, a las once estaba programado el enfrentamiento contra las fuerzas del mal.
El planteamiento comenzó mucho antes, en un pueblo manchego de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme. En marzo, tras la localoca semana santa en Carcelona, decidí que era buen momento para reiniciar nuevas aventuras, así, con mi equipaje fashion y nada práctico me presenté en Albacity, me vino a buscar JLuis Valdés, a la sazón mi peor enemigo desde aquel mismo día. Todo empezaba mal, yo leía a Henry Miller y su Trópico de capricornio en una vetusta cafetería que a mi regreso he de deciros: desapareció- enigmático, mis queridos comensales-El guaje llegó con una hora de demora, lo que me hablaba del desprecio que sentía hacia mi persona. Llegó en su Toyota Runner, con su insana música parida de un pequeño mp3, empezó a adornarse con sus proezas sexuales, con sus conquistas, con sus éxitos, afortunadamente el aire me impedía escuchar con detalle tamañas memeces. Su pelo sucio y engominado me hablaba de un estereotipo ( pensaba yo) superado, de faxa y cacique de pueblo. Me desplaza hasta un Mercadona y me deja tirado apremiando sus obligaciones, yo lo veo normal, antes me ha invitado a comer a un restaurante de categoría pretenciosa donde le han tratado con el cariño de a quien sólo se le respeta por su dinero o sólo se le tiene miedo.... todo eso lo registran puntualmente mis pupilas y créeme, me da pena. Como la que siento hoy ante desgraciados como él.
Salimos y me cuenta un poco la situación, atravesamos rectas infinitas de aburridos parajes impersonales ora adornadas con aerogeneradores, ora cubiertas de vacíos mesetarios, aunque no deja de ilusionarme la variedad que unos ojos como los míos consiguen escrutar de ésa aparente monotonía.
Llegamos a las puertas de la finca, Villarejo del Conde, elogio el diseño del hierro y el vanidoso me dice que es cosa suya, me deja el coche en la puerta, desembarco mis menudencias y me quedo ante el vacío de ésta vieja casa que en adelante sería el Sindicato Vertical Agrario, pasen y vean, sres. donde las puertas no se cierran y sólo son malvenidos los gatos de la Sra. Anita o como cojones bautizaran a la protegida del señorito. Me hago con la casa y me muestran el latifundio, me enseñan donde se ubican determinados aperos, se me habla de lo importante de mi presencia allí y de lo fundamental que es la comunicación, que es donde mas se echo en falta la cordialidad de la relación. Me presentan a la niña- de- la- concha- de- su- madre la cual, es una zorra asquerosa, arpía estúpida e insensible que cae mal incluso cuando queda levitando, ésta sucia y vulgar puerca de Fachadolid, como no, me chulea desde el momento en que nos conocemos, la meto cañita sutil, la blasfemo a esta zorra sin monasterio, putasquerosa que goza con mis desgracias. Me rompe a currar la guarra y se queja siempre. Es tan desagradable como lo que dejo atrás. A los pocos días, el primer fin de semana, desaparece todo el mundo, el Srito. D. JLuis y la puerca, me quedo solito, sin tener ni puta idea de nada al mando de una explotación agraria y ganadera con caballos de pin y pon, pijos, vanidosos, y elegantes, 800 has. de cultivos y un enoooOOooorme etecé. Flipo pero lo asimilo.
Así es que llego y curro a lo bestia desde antes de aterrizar, ¿ quién dijo miedo?
Pasan los días de intensa soledad, días en los que me reúno como lo llamaré en adelante con mis dos putas, Angustias y Soledad, sicológicamente es un reto interesantemente duro, físicamente es una matada insana. Me llama el tontolculo de JLuis de pronto y me dice " Antonio, que voy a llegar acompañado de Linda, una alumna sueca" que estaba refollable, le digo que ok, que a mi qué cojones me importa. Salgo a caminar los caminos de tierra arcillosa y piedra puntiaguda y cuando llego a mi casa, me encuentro a un sudaca removiendo dentro de una enorme furgoneta y sacando cosillas. Le pregunto que pollas se propone y me aclara que viene a vivir donde vivo yo. ¿ no me lo ha podido decir? Cielos, cuanto desprecio voy acumulando....Le digo al Sr. Jorgito, pendejo donde los haya, que ok, que me disculpe pero no contaba con él, que voy a hacer sitio, ahora somos dos. La otra hijademilputas sigue por ahí fuera, vociferando y sin trabajar, es una zorra peligrosa marcada por sus propias frustraciones que las proyectará en nosotros. El jefe la humillará, como hace con todos nosotros, pues dentro de su ideario Nazi nos considera inferiores.
Una noche, me convoca a su siniestra casa, casa oscura, sucia y llena de rémoras de un pasado franquista y masón, lleno de figuras disecadas en continuo chillido desde la oscuridad del pasado. Estar allí es realmente incómodo, estar junto a JLuis es asqueroso. Me habla del fracaso de la ideología nacional- socialista, de lo mucho que lo lamenta, me habla de que es poseedor de un ejemplar del Mein Kampf en versión española, una edición única para miembros del partido nazi en españa, no dejo de acojonarme/ rechazar toda ésa mierda paranazi, me dice que necesita a alguien que le espíe, que genere mal rollo, me dice que o estoy con él ( y no curro ni ná) o estoy contra él. Tacho la segunda opción y se lo escupo con mi mejor supo a su sucia y cerúmea carita de inútil y malapersona. Empieza el conflicto.
Una noche, a última hora, le hablo que un jaco ha roto el bebedero de su cuadra y ha encharcado todo, me dice que no hay problema, que le cambiamos de lugar y mañana atendemos el estropicio, pero, desconozco el motivo, de pronto cambia de idea y me anima a repararlo, le digo JLuis, querido, acabo de currar a las 19:00 hrs y quedan veinte minutos para mi ansiado descanso. Él, el joven marichalar rural me dice que no le quedará mas remedio que llevarlo a cabo por si mismo, le digo que adelante, que yo estoy muerto. Me responde que no valgo para los caballos. Me suda la polla su basura excretada a través de ésos mortuorios labios. El desafío ya se ha planteado, fight the power/ fight the power!
Pasan los días y el bueno del señorito me retira el saludo, yo educadamente insisto e insisto cada día, recibiendo la callada por parte del sujeto ( del cual empiezo a dudar de su cordura).
Sé que es una malapersona, pero desconocía su grado de locura.
Curro, que bien curro, reparto forraje desde las ocho de la mañana a las putas bestias- a las que empiezo a despreciar- limpio cuadras a saco, pasando rastrillo día tras día, reponiendo base en las cuadras etcétera, me lleva toda la triste jornada.... el mobbing laboral existe ya y no asciendo ni en responsabilidades ni en atribuciones. Mientras la familia crece.
He establecido amistad con Félix, al cual asesoro, pues el bueno de Pepelu se lo quiere chingar, le hago seguir una serie de sencillas pautas para evitar que se lo merienden, he de aclarar que Félix es alcohólico, analfabeto y un pobre diablo al cual ésta familia ha esquilmado tanto y tanto como ha podido. Cuando Félix se pone flamenco y le canta las verdades del barquero al Srito, éste carga toda su ira frente a mí. Resultado, despiden a Félix, pero gracias al asesoramiento recibido se va con cinco mil eurazos que le correspondían ( ¡y el quizá desconociera!). Se agrava la crisis, hemos perdido el respeto todos al Srito y Anita se siente sola y desamparada.
Una noche, tras ir a tomar Jorgito, Félix y quien te escribe, recibo una llamada al fono, es la suciAnita, por favor ven a verme que estoy con una crisis de ansiedad, le explico que he bebido, que se me rompieron las gafas y que como sea una estrategia para joderme/ nos iba fresca, insiste y ante la negativa de Félix, la voy a buscar, me encuentro a ése engendro humando esperando nuestra presencia y llega a transmitir ternura, ése pouto monstruo cebado.
La llevo y la pregunto, ,zorra ¿ por qué no has llamado a tu jefe?me responde - está cenando con Linda en Albacity ( empiezo a darme cuenta de que el viejo Félix tenía razón, vuelo a cientochenta por ésas asquerosas carreteras y la guarra me dice que suave- suave, le replico que si me ha llamado para una urgencia, habrá que hacerlo con celeridad....A las tres a.m. aparece el puto Srito a los brazos de la bella Linda, valga la redundancia, le digo que qué tal, si han cenado, me contesta con mirada huidiza que tan solo un sandwich.... el baboso no acaba de entender que llevo cuatro horas con la puerca de su empleada, acabo diciéndole que no entiendo el sentido de estar ahí everybody, que me abro ya mismo, llego a casa tras atropellar a un conejo a las 04:00 a.m., a la media hora, el refulgir de los faros del Runner me informe de la llegada de la comitiva.
A la mañana siguiente pregunto qué demonios pasó, me dicen que nada, que la han dado Nolotil o no sé qué hostias y pa casa, la guarra no se dejará ver por el curro en los días venideros. Mejor ambiente habrá, vaya si lo habrá. Rompo relaciones con la SuciAna, la cual me inquiere el motivo, la digo que me adeuda cinco putos euros de la gasolina del desplazamiento, se va llorando y gritando, regresa y me arroja la pasta, Lamalapersona se ríe a su paso y luego, haciéndose el buen patrón me pregunta qué ha ocurrido. No pestañeo mientras le cuento. La zorrAna se aísla en sus sucios gatos y en su covacha saca un rendimiento extra a las " bajas laborales" auto diagnosticadas mejor, se curra mejor sin ése bicho suelto. Nada peor que ésa hija de mil putas aburrida y molestando a la plantilla.
El marica reprimido de JLuis me dice " salgamos a tomar algo", alucino, por supuesto pero le sigo el juego. Vamos a la paleta Albacity, donde la gomina es bien nacional y el almidón nunca ha de faltar en la camisa. Me calienta la cabeza el putomaricón de mierda con cenar en " el lugar mas caro de Albacity" le digo que tengo hambre y prisa, que le invito a una pizza, vamos a antros ridículos y le propongo ir a La Luna, el único con ambiente razonable.... eso si lleno de mariconas, mi jefe he de aclarar que es homófobo. Le meto caña y se hace el loco, es tan desesperante, tan cobarde y tan sucio.... malditaseamiestampa.
En otra ocasión, me dice Pepeluí ¿ vienes a la cena? respondo, no sé de que cena me hablas Jose, hablaré con los compis y me dirán, los compis me dicen que viene una delegación de la UNED a conocer instalaciones, bueno una suerte de pijos urbanos y digo, ok, me apunto. El hijoputa me da un polo blanco, una gorrilla azul y unos guantes, he de aclarar que desde que llegué a ésa maldita casa no recibí nada para equiparme, todo corrió de mi parte. Al llegar el momento de la cena me dice el desvergonzado : " bueno, ahora tú harás de camarero" ante ello, me rebelo y descojono acariciando la locura, le digo que es un kbrón de mierda que me ha faltado el respeto por última vez que se joda.... recapacita y me anima a sentarme en su mesa, lo rechazo, prefiero ser camata que compartir mesa con chusma como él, le humillo delante de sus invitados.... pero no soy yo quien le humilla sino él mismo siendo como es. Menudos amigos tiene mi hermana, escupo en sus sucias caras. Éste no sabe a quien anda tanteando, no lo sabe.
Mientras ha llegado Mario, un pobre hombre tarado que se deja chulear por el jefe y se entrega en cuerpo y alma a su miserable trabajo, desconozco el por que y le pierdo algo de respeto por ello.
Pasan los minutos, lentos como las gotas de vinagre sobre la herida abierta, pasan las horas, como la tensión de las sogas que te destrozan, pasan los días lentos como la metástasis se adueña del organismo.... triste experiencia a la que yo no pienso renunciar, habrán de echarme, yo soy rocoso y puedo con éste hijoputa y lo que me caiga.
Me he hecho un esguince de tobillo, por mis medios me desplazo a Albacity a curarme, solicito la baja y me vuelvo a Mado, mi dulce Mado. Allí me curaré y regresaré.... el malparido pone en duda el alcance de mis lesiones así como mi salida en fecha y hora de la finca, le tumbo con datos demoledores, el maricón se oculta tras la cortina de cadenas de su casa. Hijo de puta una y mil veces.
Me entero que la hermana y la mama andan esperando las sobras de la magnífica cena servida ( gazpacho, tortilla de patatas y alitas de pollo) ahí me apercibo que son TODOS iguales, que tufazo a podredumbre. Tentado estoy de eyacular sobre la tortilla y añadir un extra de mahonesa para dichas arpías.
Me roba dinero y me humilla, al final, el treinta y uno de julio me convoca a su ridículo despacho y me despide, lloro de alegría y de satisfacción, pues no me ha tumbado, redacto una nota de cuatro folios para que la lea y otra copia para su mamá, para evitar que ésta mierda se repita.
Genish, Afo y yo, a lomos del enoooorme Nissan vamos al rescate de mis cuatro mierdas, como me dijo en una ocasión éste figurante de la nada. Desaparezco con la cabeza erguida y el puño en alto. La guerra comienza.
En Mado, le denuncio ante el Ministerio de Trabajo, inquiriendo una inspección, en la denuncia hago constar los siguientes datos:
<<>>
1) EXPLOTACIÓN IRREGULAR DE TRABAJADORES, REALIZANDO ENTRE CINCUENTA Y CUATRO Y SESENTA Y TRES HORAS LABORALES COMPRENDIDAS DE LUNES A DOMINGO Y CARENTES DE RETRIBUCIÓN.
2) IRREGULARIDADES EN EL ABONO DE NÓMINAS , EN PLAZO ( NUNCA COBRÉ ANTES DEL DIA DIEZ Y OCHO DEL MES VENCIDO) Y EN LA FORMA ( USURPACIÓN DE MI NÓMINA EN PERIODO DE BAJA POR ACCIDENTE LABORAL)
3) CONTRATACIÓN DE TRABAJADORES DE MODO IRREGULAR, YO TRABAJÉ DOS MESES SIN CONTRATO LABORAL, CONTRATACIÓN / EXPLOTACIÓN DE TRABAJADORES EXTRANGEROS EN SITUACIÓN IRREGULAR.
4) HUMILLACIONES Y VEJACIONES VARIAS EN MI PERSONA COMO TRABAJADOR.
5) IMPOSIBILIDAD DE DISPONER DE DIAS PARA ATENDER LAS OBLIGACIONES PERSONALES TRABAJANDO DESLOCALIZADO.
6) OBLIGACIÓN DE TRABAJAR SIN RETRIBUCIÓN ADICIONAL EN ASUNTOS AJENOS A MI COMETIDO ( CAMARERO, TRACTORISTA).
7) MANIPULACIÓN DE MAQUINARIA PESADA CARENTE DE LA FORMACIÓN DEBIDA Y CARENTE DE MÍNIMAS GARANTÍAS DE SEGURIDAD( TRACTOR SIN FRENOS).
8) EXPLOTACIÓN DESMEDIDA DE CUALQUIER TRABAJADOR.
9) ALLANAMIENTO DE ESPACIO HABILITADO A EFECTOS DE VIVIENDA SIN CONSENTIMIENTO DE INQUILINOS.
En Villarejo del Conde a diez y nueve de agosto del dos mil ocho. Existen mas de dos mil doscientas razones para impedir que éstos desagradables hechos se vuelvan a repetir. He ganado muuuuuchooooo en experiencia, dignidad, independencia, autosuficiencia. He ganado mucho y puedo concluir que ha sido todo un éxito. 70 Kilos 257 gramos.

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